Be Careful

In my last blog, I shared with you my conversion experience. That was over 40 years ago and so much has happened  since. Tonight I would like tell you about an experience I had shortly after my conversion. Hope you like stories.

In 1973, I was a young wife with 2 small children and a baby. We had recently moved into the homestead of my husbands family. His father had died and his mother was left with the mess. The place was filthy and run down but both my husband and I believed that we could revive it. It was a goodly house with 3+ bedrooms, cedar shakes and a very large yard that went all the way to a pubic park. My husband and his siblings, all boys, referred to it by it's street address, 1859.

At about this same time, my husband, Mike, started his own business, a gas station. A new business requires a lot of time but added to this was the house which required a considerable amount money. So he worked 15 to 18 hour days at the station providing the funds while I worked at home cleaning, ripping up carpet, wallpapering, painting and caring for the kids. It was the most confining, lonely time of my life.

We are all so courageous in our youth. I now wonder what made me think I could tackle this project. And, oh yes, it was a Project. Was it my love for Mike? Was it my belief that we could, together, right all the wrongs that had brought this house to it's present condition?  Perhaps it is all about our strong muscles, supple joints, our energetic nervous systems that required little sleep. Then there is that enormous ego that always says, "I can!".  But even with all of these going for me, it was not whistle while you work. There where tears, there was anger and anguish. There where times when I thought I would just break.

It was a very low point that I thought if I could just have Mike for one day a week, Sunday, I would be renewed and able to go on. I pictured us doing family type things with the kids, a park, a walk, a visit to the Grandparents. That's when I hatched a plan. Was Jesus not the miracle worker, was he not the healer and mender of the small tears in our lives? Yes, of course, I would go to him. So I prepared for my prayer by forgiving everybody, making sure to construct it correctly. And when I was ready, I prayed that God would somehow have Mike stay home on Sundays, in Jesus name.

Not long after that, President Nixon closed all the gas stations in the Nation on Sunday due to the oil embargo. I was surprised at my own surprise. Wow, that Jesus really is the miracle worker! But the result was something I could never have seen coming. Did we do family things with the kids? Did we go anywhere or do anything. No, Mike laid on the couch angry. The kids had to be quiet and we all sat there watching TV. This result was worse than the previous condition where I could, in his absents, go where I pleased.

So you see, the up shot is be careful what you pray for. You might just get it! Mercifully, it didn't last long. But I learned a very valuable lesson.

Post Scrip: When I researched the oil embargo, I found that it was a voluntary measure. But that is not how I remember it nor do I think Mike saw it that way. 

The meeting, beginning

If you require foot notes and annotations, I may not have much for you. But if you are looking for meaning in every little part of your life...you have come to the right place.

The only thing I have for you is my own experience and side bars of reflection. I am not an Indian Holy man, nor am I a saint. I am just a woman who has had a path to walk and would like to share parts of that journey in the hope that it may help you on your way.

I have been through a number of belief systems. Where I once believe there was just one truth, one right path, I have come to see that there is only One God, if you will. But that God has many, many forms. Is that so hard to believe? Consider quantum psychics. Everything we perceive is made of stuff we cannot see. In other words, everything is made up of the very same stuff. Yes, there are different forms, different shapes but is all God in his, or her, or it's creation.

Come with me to a day many years ago. I was so certain there was no such thing as God . But I was given a book by my brother-in-law. Well, actually, the book was suppose to go to my husband who would have nothing to do with it. I took it with all confidence that I could prove my brother-in -law wrong. You know, beat him over the head with his own book. After all , I had 12 years of Catholic education.

I read his "Satan is Alive and Well" book for 3 days. On the third day, I came across a line which read, "Isn't it good that we have a God who knows that we can't do it alone." And with that, all my mind went empty. It is a very strange feeling to have an empty mind. So much space, too much space. I got up and went to the small dormer window in my bedroom and looked out thinking could this all belong to Satan? Then on the wall there appeared the cross which had hung over me as a child at St. John de Nenepomuc. But Christ was alive. He spoke to me by name, Rita, but it was not Rita, yet it was me. I felt known, through and through. Everything about me was known and loved. He then said "You did not do this to me, I did this for you." And he was gone. He neglected to tell me which church to join, who was "right" and who was "wrong".

Take this as you might. My only point is that within us lives the very God we seek. Maybe you have not yet met him as I did, but it is possible. The hearts desire is always answered.